Things You Promised You Would Never Say or Do as a Parent

Before we had children, we had standards. We had dreams. We had vows. We had lines in the sand that were immovable.

“I will never bribe my child with food.”
“I will always use calm, respectful tones.”
“I will never let them watch TV at dinner. Or breakfast. Or in the bath.”

Then reality hit home. Hard. We had actual, real-life, living and breathing children. And those vows? Ha. HA. They vanished faster than a toddler with your phone and the last roll of toilet paper.

This book is a tribute to the beautiful, chaotic, totally hypocritical world of parenting — where the only rule is that you’ll break all your own rules. It’s for every parent who has ever found themselves:

- Eating a half-chewed fish finger because “we don’t waste food”
- Hiding from their child to get "a moment's peace."
- Repeating phrases their own parents used while screaming, “I’VE BECOME MY MOTHER/FATHER!”

Packed with honest confessions, glorious fails, and plenty of opportunities for you to have the reassurance of, “it isn't just me!”  this is the guide you didn’t know you needed to laugh, cringe, and feel gloriously seen. You’re not a bad parent. You’re a real one. 

And this? This is your club. This is where you have always belonged.